Monday, May 4, 2009

Frank's Testicle Tale

First shot at the free book comes from Mr Frank Klein. A ball in the balls. Nice...

It was a beautiful Saturday morning close to my sixteenth birthday. Cycling to my football club with my best mate Stevie we were debating how to beat our opponents. From our previous encounter we knew they were big, fat and ugly.

"Frank, I'll put pressure on that colossus of a sweeper, you take the ball and score, too simple", Steve proposed. It was the first sensible thing he had ever said about football since his mind was on art and sex permanently.

And so it went. It was the 15th minute when Stevie decided the time and moment were right to execute our plan. Although Stevie's body mass was a third of the 1.95 sweeper of our opponent he charged in like a lion, wearing a black army beret like he always did during important matches, and his art classes. I followed Steve waiting for the sweeper to panic, deliver the ball to me and give me the opportunity to score easily.
Unfortunately the sweeper pulled a trick on Steve and I was face to face with Andre The Giant. Steve had managed to panic our opponent which made him strike the ball with sheer power to clear it ASAP.

Straight in my nuts.

The pain and dimension that followed can not be described. The only remaining image is that of Stevie. Faintly smiling under his black beret and stretching my leg since he thought I had cramps.

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